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| WEAPON QUIPS |
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At this year's Pride events, why not carry your legal weapons openly and proudly? Black is slimming. It must be because, when I wear my legally unconcealed black firearm, nobody ever calls me fat. Bullets are now Green! New lead-free bullets are made from biodegradeable cornmeal. Yeah, corn. Celebrate the first Stonewall Day. Go armed to Pride events! Civilians with concealed-firearm permits are safer with their firearms than are law-enforcement officers, according to the FBI and U.S. Department of Justice. Criminals will never obey laws, especially gun-control laws. Feel safer? Does this firearm make me look fat? Even Harry Potter has the right to self defense! "The right to carry a wand at all times was established by the International Confederation of Wizards in 1692, when Muggle persecution was at its height and the wizards were planning their retreat into hiding," Kennilworthy Whisp, "Quidditch Through the Ages." "Magic may be used [in] situations which threaten the life of the wizard or witch him- or herself, or any witches, wizards or Muggles present," J.K. Rowling, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." Everybody run! The drag queen's got a gun! Firearms are 1) a right, 2) the best defense, and 3) sexy. Firearms are like abortions. Don't like them? Don't get one, but it's wrong to make that choice for others. Firearms are sexy. Just ask James Bond. Firearms stop more than 2.5 million crimes a year (almost 7,000 times a day) in the United States -- 14 times as many as they start, according to the FBI and U.S. Department of Justice. Firearms. Real firearms. That's what we do. We're gay gunners. We shoot. First Amendment -- Second Amendment. It's all good. Gay and lesbian Americans are among the most targeted victims of hate crime, while legal firearms save lives and stop crime, according to the FBI and U.S. Department of Justice. It's simple: More firearms = Less hate crime. Going clubbing tonight? Don't forget your firearm! And, remember, Utah law welcomes wide-open carrying of legal firearms! "[H]e that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one," Jesus said, Luke 22:36, King James Bible. Here's proof: "Legally concealed firearm scares off would-be robber," The Salt Lake Tribune, July 29, 2005. I'd like to shoot the world to teach...! If it's a stereotype that gay people aren't likely to own firearms, then I'm proud of not living like a stereotype. If the Second Amendment applies only to Minutemen's muskets, does the First Amendment apply only to quills and parchment? In a free nation, shouldn't its citizens have the ability to own the same weapons as its law enforcers? It's amazing that some gay Americans spend more time banning constitutional rights than they do trying to protect them. It's bad to swizzle a drink with your firearm! It's easy to take away someone's gun? Let's test that idea: I'll point my loaded firearm at you and you try to take it away from me. Ready? Law-enforcement officers aren't obligated to protect people from crime, according to the U.S. Supreme Court. Let me shoot you to teach! My bling goes BANG. Nothing scares straight America more than a faggot with a gun. OMG. Check it: http://www.impactguns.com/store/725327601876.html PSST: Firearms save lives. Repeal the Second Amendment and get back to me. Until then, it's law. Self defense is always your right. Should everybody have a firearm? "No, just me," entertainer Dean Martin. Since the Second Amendment is a federal law, it matters what federal-government leaders believe the amendment really means: http://www.usdoj.gov/olc/secondamendment2.htm Stonewall rioters were very armed. What else would you call hitting the law-enforcement officers with fistfuls of loose coins, beer bottles and cans, spiked heels, cobblestones, pieces of sidewalk concrete, rocks, at least one parking meter, glass shards, lighter fluid, improvised Molotov cocktails and burning trash cans? Switzerland requires its citizens to own firearms and has less violent crime than the United States, according to the United Nations and U.S. Department of State. The average Salt Lake City Police Department officer-response time for Priority 1 emergencies is five minutes, 45 seconds. The average Salt Lake County Office of the Sheriff officer-response time for such emergencies is 10 minutes, 41 seconds. "Please hold, your violent attack will be reported in the order that it was received." The Clinton Administration proved it: More firearms = Less crime. The First Amendment is good, but the Second Amendment is bad? What is this, a constitutional buffet? The first human right is self defense. The Rawhide Kid is a comic hero, gay and ... shoots a firearm. The Second Amendment exists. Until it's seriously threatened with REPEAL, the only valid argument for or against weapons is whether someone wants one. The United Nations hosted in 2006 an international treaty meeting to ban all personal firearm possession worldwide. This is the same United Nations that voted to "take over" the Internet. First they want to steal our First Amendment, now they want to steal our Second Amendment! "There is nothing in state statute that prohibits permit holders from being in a bar with a concealed firearm. However, it's illegal to be intoxicated and in possession of a firearm. The level of intoxication that's considered illegal is the same as when driving a car (0.08 BAC)," http://bci.utah.gov/CFP/CFPFAQ/FAQBar.html. Tonight's topic: Firearms ... function or fashion? What do Ben Affleck, Eminem and Madonna have in common? They all own firearms. What if they DID have firearms at the Stonewall riots? What would the Queer Eye Fab 5 say is more fashionable: Black firearms or silver? What's the difference between an off-duty law-enforcement officer and a Utah Concealed Firearm Permit holder? Nothing. The same laws govern both. When they said "Queers Bash Back," we're what they meant. Who wants to learn to shoot? Yeah, it was loaded AND legal. Now THAT'S freedom: http://extras.sltrib.com/tribPhoto/gallery.asp?ID=55526&GID=Daily&Pubdate=2007-02-14 You're up to 2.5 times more likely to survive a violent crime with a firearm than without one, according to the FBI and U.S. Department of Justice. You're up to 1,446 times more likely to be injured by suffering a fall, a hit, an overexertion, a collision, a cut or stab, a bite or sting, a foreign object, a poisoning, a burn, a machine misfunction, a dangerous inhalation or suffocation, or a dangerous natural-environment exposure, than a firearm gunshot, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. You're up to 140 times more likely to die by suffering a collision, a poisoning, a fall, a dangerous inhalation or suffocation, a drowning, a burn, an adverse effect, a dangerous natural-environment exposure, or a hit, than a firearm gunshot, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. You're up to 95 times more likely to be injured by suffering a poisoning, a cut or stab, or a hit, than a firearm gunshot, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. You've seen those cute tassels on bicycle handlebars? I've added one to my firearm!
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